Cougie and beta bulldog fighting before wrestling match. Graphic by: Twilight Sparkle

 Schools decide to amp up school spirit and hype up students with a pre game ritual

VHS’ school spirit has been at an all time low, so in order to electrify and excite students, VHS had a meeting with the beta bulldogs and decided that before every rivalry game, they will unleash a bulldog and a cougar to fight, on skib. 

Over the past couple years not only has VHS seen a dramatic decrease in the number of students coming to each game, but also a significant lack in excitement shown in the typically radical student section. So, as a solution to this significant problem, the boards of each school came up with a plan that according to the school boards should, “Benefit everyone, except the animals….” An hour before every game a cougar and bulldog will be released onto the field, court, track, pool or ring, and will fight each other. Whichever animal is left standing, will get the first advantage. A prime example to first advantage is shown in football — it will replace the coin toss and the winning animal mascot will get to choose who will kick off. There is a variation for each sport, however the same general idea stays the same for other sports. For example, basketball, instead of doing the toss, one of the team’s will get the ball at the middle of the court and the game will continue from there, but what can you expect of this chaotic pregame showdown?

Gerek Darcia ‘27 said, “Lowkey the football games are boring, I only come because they pass out gatorade, on gyatt. The best flavor is lemon lime, no kizzy.”

Most people would expect the cougar to win this battle due to the cougar being bigger and by definition stronger, and those rumors have some truth to them. The cougars have a clear advantage. Cougars are bigger than bulldogs, stronger, more muscular, and have that KSI mentality.  The cougars have a clear advantage in this fight, and it is rumored that the bulldogs board only agreed to these terms because a spanish teacher at our school, who goes by the name Maestro Phillaobos threatened them to an emote off on the senior lawn.

Maestro Phillaobos said, “On fine shyt they are scared of my emotes.”

Edward Recula said, “Highkey even though bulldogs technically have dog in them, they don’t have dawg in them, and cougars got that dawg in them. Highkey bulldogs Ohio beta for real, no cap. For real before every girls basketball game cougar would win no question.”