Teen heartbreak is often viewed as a passing phase or something unserious, but to many teens it feels bigger than life. Many people experience their first heartbreak in their teen years. This can affect teenagers in different ways such as sadness, anxiety and anger. But what might make it so difficult in high school? It could be navigating shared classes or a shared friend group. It could also be social media where the reminder of an ex is just a click away. By looking at these different aspects it’ll make it easier to understand why heartbreak feels so complicated during teenhood especially in the context of our present time.
Why do break-ups make you feel the way you feel? It’s because of the chemical reactions going on in a human’s very own body and mind when they fall in love. The three major hormones released are called Oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. Northwestern Medicine said, “Dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin are some of the key neurotransmitters that help you feel pleasure and satisfaction. So, your body often approaches love as a cycle. It feels good to be with that person.”
Dopamine makes you feel euphoric, serotonin drives the feeling of infatuation and Oxytocin, also known as the ‘cuddle hormone’, make you feel calm and content so when a teen’s relationship comes to a sudden end, it makes their body feel like it’s going through a withdrawal. This is why many recommend eating chocolate after a break up as it releases the same hormones as being in love does. All of the positive hormones being transmitted suddenly crash, which causes anxiety which is a huge symptom of withdrawal. Additionally, teenagers’ emotions and hormones are already heightened, so the addition of heartbreak adds even more to the stressors of teen life causing a more of a detrimental reaction.
Abby Steiner 26’ said, “I think when going through heartbreak you should console in others with whether it’s your friends, family, mentors or anyone around you that you feel comfortable with and just talk about [how] you’re feeling.”
Another factor in teen heartbreak in modern time is social media. As time goes on, our lives get more interconnected with social media which has caused many of the ways we get in and out of relationships to be through social media. Break-up’s have always been hard but because of social media it becomes harder to distance oneself from ones which increasingly becomes more difficult if your socials are filled with them. Snaps, Instagram posts, stories, Tik Toks and even just photos on your phone can disturbed the efforts to move on. A research paper called “Am I Never Going to Be Free of All This Crap?” said, “These digital markers are frequent pain points for people dealing with a breakup.”
Though you can always block and move on, you can still see them through other peoples’ posts or stories so even if you don’t see them in class, lunch or in real life, you’ll still see them on your phone so it feels inescapable. Not only is it the reminder of them on your phone but also the videos or posts that pop up on your feed saying “you’ll get back with your ex by next week” or “here’s five ways to know that they want you back” spread ideas to teen’s heads and cause them to read deeper into things, additionally by interacting with this content it causes the algorithm to push more of that content out.
Shaylee Torres ‘26 said, “I think [social media] does [affect teens a lot] because people will publicly post someone on their highlights and then one day the highlights are gone and then everyone kinda knows. But I think it’s just a little bit harder. And then you can see your significant other posting somebody else also.”
In addition to this, in high school, teens sometimes who are surrounded by an ex can exhibit more negative emotions during a very sensitive time. This could lead to not waiting to go to school as a way to avoid an ex as well as it could dig them into a deeper hole by affecting their grades and social life. An article by The Communicator said, “Constantly being surrounded by your ex-partner, rumors and the overwhelming memories at school can exacerbate the pain for a student whose relationship has just ended; it’s nearly impossible for students to find peace and privacy.”
Break-ups can also have different effects depending on the situation in the relationship like a controlling relationship can feel like a relief, while a more healthy and balanced relationship can fill the person with confusion or sadness. Going through a break-up during teen hood is a very tumultuous time. It’s best to try and spend time with your friends and to have fun in high school. This can help process grief and heartbreak.
