Losing your virginity- when is the right time?


Jocelyn Lee

Ventura High School students’ opinions on the stigma of when you should lose your virginity.

Losing your virginity can be nerve racking. Some teenagers view losing your virginity as a passageway to maturity, while others may want to get their first time over with. With emotions and temptations that teenagers face everyday, sex can become pretty overwhelming. 

According to the Cougar Press’s 2020 Sex and Dating Survey, 58.9 percent of students out of the 752 students who took the survey said they have not yet engaged in sexual intercourse, while the other 41.1 percent said they have. Of those, 9.8 percent first engaged in sexual intercourse before freshman year, 11.1 percent freshman year, 10.2 percent sophomore year, 7 percent junior year, and 2.9 percent senior year. 

When asked about the stigma that goes along with losing your virginity, one anonymous student commented, “Being a female myself, I have not felt much pressure put on me to have sex. I definitely agree that there is a stigma though. I’ve noticed that teenage boys think it’s cool to have sex with a lot of girls, like it’s almost a competition. I’ve had a few friends who have felt pressure from guys to have sex with them when they were virgins. I think it’s unfair how society views girls as objects.”

According to PlannedParenthood.org, sexual intercourse is described as- “usually, sex that includes penetration of the vagina with a penis. Can also describe penetration of the anus with a penis.”

According to indy100, an independent British newspaper, a study conducted in the US shows that the most common age to lose your virginity is between the ages 15-18. Different maturity levels may depend on when one is ready to lose their virginity. What determines when someone is ready? 

When the Survey asked students when they believe the appropriate time to start having sex with someone is, one anonymous student stated, “When you have been with someone for a long time and you really trust them, and when you know they really love you and don’t just want you for sex.” While another commented, “I would say mid twenties – or at least after high school (high schoolers are too emotionally immature to handle that stuff to be honest.)” 

Some factors such as religion and personal beliefs may also be a contributing factor as to why students have not yet participated in sexual activity. Out of the 752 students students who took the survey, 50 students admit to being celibate due to religious reasons, while 109 students choose to not have sex due to personal reasons, while 553 are not celibate.