Opinion: Are girl or boy best friends harming your relationship


Can straight men and women really be bestfriends? Their partners are almost always left wondering. Graphic by: Kinda Mehael

What VHS students think about the person they told you ‘not to worry about’

Relationships in high school are already hard enough as is, but the debate regarding whether partners are allowed to have a girl best friend or a boy best friend seems necessary in terms of communication and boundaries. 

The Urban Dictionary defines a girl best friend as not “just anyone, it’s the person that tops everyone off, the girl that you want to watch series with and stay on call with all night, the person you say ‘goodnight’ and ‘good morning’ to, the one who knows you better than anyone and knows your favorite food and favorite shows […] she’s almost like your sister and you treat her like a princess.”

  Bella Long ‘24 said, “I don’t think that your girlfriend or boyfriend should have a girl best friend or boy best friend because you should be their girl best friend or boy best friend.”

Having a girl or boy best friend requires a certain amount of trust that, let’s face it, most high school relationships don’t have. People can try and say that they are okay with the friendship between their partner and their partner’s opposite sex best friend but when it comes down to it, a friendship like this usually leads to many more problems later on in the relationship.

Miles Becker ‘23 said, “If you’re in a relationship, your best friend should be whoever you’re dating. You’re hanging out with them so much it only makes sense. I mean, people are definitely entitled to have a girl or boy best friend, but they should never take priority.”

In high school, we see many opposite sex friendships where the pair is considered to be “best friends,” but what you rarely see is either of those people having a healthy relationship with a girlfriend or boyfriend. 

Long said, “I have dated someone who had a girl best friend and it ended badly.”

One of the biggest problems that come up with having a girl best friend would definitely have to be complaining about your relationship problems to her in particular. No girlfriend wants you to talk about your relationship negatively with another girl. Another main issue with a girl’s best friend is history. Was your girl best friend ever your girlfriend? If so, how can your new girlfriend trust the fact that you’re fully over that relationship, especially if they’re still in your life now? 

Jason Romero ‘23 said, “I feel like it depends especially if [your partner and their opposite sex best friend] were best friends before the relationship, but overall I think that your significant other in the relationship should be your best friend.”

Boyfriends, girlfriends and their bestfriends always seem to be connected in a way that doesn’t make sense. Opinions from people like bestfriends who are only close to one person in the relationship can cause a lot of issues. Graphic by: Kendall Garcia

There are, on the other hand, some ways that having a girl best friend or a boy best friend while being in a relationship can work. Usually, a girl or boy best friend can work if they are friends with your girlfriend or boyfriend, you guys have never had a previous relationship and if you don’t talk to them about relationship problems.

Mya Sherman ‘23 said, “I love having best friends while being in a relationship because I believe that each of the people in my life offer something unique and special and I genuinely could not go without any of them.” 

Adeline Fa ‘24 said, “I think that there’s a certain line and communication is important, there has to be boundaries, but I think that if they’ve been friends longer than the relationship has been, it’s fine. Unless the best friend is weird and suspicious, then I think that’s where it gets weird.”

Relationships all have their issues. Whether they’re big or small, it would be naive not to bring up the fact that couples get into arguments all the time. Maybe just keep the distance between your relationship problems and your girl or boy best friend.